When to stay or walk away: Learning to leave things that don't serve you
I love the saying "people are meant to be in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime".
When I was younger I thought all my friendships, jobs, and plans would last forever. As I got older I started to learn that the people I thought who would be there for a lifetime were actually just some really hard lessons to learn.
I am grateful for all my seasonal lessons. The most painful ones I have experienced in life have sadly come at the hands of the people that I have loved and trusted the most. Sometimes we give people too many chances to take your peace away from you. Eventually you have to ask yourself, how am I going to start protecting myself?
Many of us were taught when we are young from our parents that family is everything. I am sure we have all heard the saying "blood is thicker than water". For a lot of people that probably still rings true. For me my opinion of that changed when the following things happened in my life...my dad died and a lot of people disappeared, my sibling who I gave so much of my peace to cut me out of their life, and half of my blood related family came to the conclusion that I was just too much of a problem to continue having a relationship with. I started to believe that maybe I'm the problem.
After many years with a very patient and kind therapist she taught me to understand I am not unlovable. The things that I say and the things that I do are a reflection of who I am, not what people I am related to say about me.
They say birds of a feather flock together. I guess I'm not a bird, I'm like a weird anxious goat looking for love in all the wrong places. It also turns out that when you have your own opinion that's different than the flock, it can really ruffle their feathers the wrong way.
So, I have come to learn that we don't live in medieval times anymore and survival isn't based upon who lives in our cave. Family can be who you make it.
Family and love can look like friends creating traditions with you, your neighbours checking in on you, and if you have a small business...having the support of your customers!
I am also positive that I have been seasonal lessons for some and that's ok. I know my morals and values and the people that are meant to be in my life know who I am as a person. Some of my chosen family has been a part of my life for over 20 years...they literally choose to do so...by choice! That has to say something.
You are not meant to be everybody's cup of tea. Your gut feeling and your intuition won't send you down the wrong path and if you choose to ignore that again and again then you aren't learning to let the things go that don't serve you.
Anybody worth having in your life would never do something to intentionally hurt you. This includes siblings, friends, or even coworkers. There is no room in my life or yours for any type of negative hurtful behaviour. Life is short and love should never hurt.
To all my chosen family and the people that are sticking around...my heart is with you. To all the people that choose to say something negative or be unkind...I hope you have the day you deserve.
See you soon!
P.S this week I thought it would be a great idea to add some new mug designs on how I really feel. Click the link below to get yours!